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Whiskey Review: Gold Bar Gold Finished Whiskey

Gold Bar Gold Finished Whiskey sets the bar high for packaging design - but do its contents stack up to its luxe exterior? Find out in this review.

OVERALL RATING

$60.00
  • Margarett Waterbury is a whiskey enthusiast and industry expert.
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Tasting Notes

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Appearance:
. It seems glitteringly obvious to me that the compelling reason to purchase Gold Bar Gold Finished Whiskey is its bottle, not its contents. Yet style can’t exist without some kind of substance, and after we wrote about this release in April I couldn’t wait to crack open that big, clunky bottle to see just what was inside. Would it contain little flakes of gold a la Goldschlager? (Sadly, no.) Would its flavor match its bold appearance, or would it be nothing but a charlatan, vapidity wrapped in a shiny package? Let’s find out. Tasting Notes: Gold Bar Gold Finished Whiskey Vital stats: 80 proof, about $60 for a 750ml bottle. Appearance: Well, the bottle is shaped just like a gigantic gold bar. It’s so shiny you can see your own reflection in its surface, which means your hands better be clean when you pick this thing up or it’s smudge city. Embedded in the front is a minted, artist-designed bronze collector coin depicting the “Lady of Fortune,” as well as a cap strip that reads “May her light reveal your fortunes [sic] path.” The bottle has a slanted bottom (potentially alarming after you’ve had a couple drinks), so it comes with a surprisingly chintzy clear plastic stand that looks like it could double as a business card holder. Overall, the appearance is gaudy, eye-catching, simultaneously cheap and expensive, and weirdly irresistible. Oh, you mean the whiskey? It’s light…gold.
Nose:
Mild – really mild. There’s a bit of green melon, some sugar syrup, and a kind of carbonated quality, almost like ozone. It’s extremely light, almost to the point of smelling like vodka.
Palate:
Also quite light. Some nice round sweetness in the entry, with notes of powdered sugar, soft grain, honeydew, and the faintest suggestion of vanilla. The finish is short and abrupt, leaving nothing but a vaporous sweet flavor behind. Though it’s only 80 proof, it tastes quite a bit hotter, because there’s not much richness to balance the alcoholic burn. It reminds me of nothing so much as an imperfectly rectified craft vodka. I wonder, perhaps, if this contains some of that aged MGP light whiskey? Conclusion: If you’re looking for a completely ridiculous centerpiece for your liquor cabinet or a grand prize-winning white elephant gift, look no further than Gold Bar Gold Finished Whiskey. If you’re hoping for contents as bold as the bottle, you’ll be disappointed. This stuff won a double gold at the San Francisco Spirits Competition (and no, not just for packaging), which leaves me scratching my head. There are no off flavors, but there are no on flavors either. This whiskey, like the bottle it arrives in, is unable to stand on its own. FINAL SCORE: 75/100 A side note: One of the most interesting things about this product is how clearly the bottle was designed for fungibility. The only place “whiskey” is seen anywhere on the bottle is on adhesive stickers; everywhere else, the bottle only reads “finest spirit.” It begs the question: Can subsequent releases of gold bar vodka, gold bar rum, and gold bar tequila be far behind?
Finish:
Comments:

Editor’s Note: This whiskey was either bought as a sample by The Whiskey Wash or provided to us as a review sample by the party behind it. Per our editorial policies, this in no way influenced the outcome of this review.

Margarett Waterbury

Margarett Waterbury is the author of "Scotch: A Complete Introduction to Scotland's Whiskies" and a full-time freelance writer and editor specializing in the beverage industry. Her work has graced the pages of numerous publications, including Whisky Advocate, Food and Wine, Spirited Magazine, Artisan Spirit, Edible Seattle, Sip Northwest, Civil Eats, Travel Oregon, and many others. She also boasts editorial experience as the former managing editor of Edible Portland and as a co-founder and former managing editor of The Whiskey Wash. In recognition of her talent, Margarett received the Alan Lodge Young Drinks Writer of the Year award in 2017 and was awarded fellowships for the Symposium for Professional Wine Writers in 2017 and 2019.

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